Monday, November 30, 2009

By George!!! A Mother could not have asked for a more pleasant morning. My kiddos woke up about 7am. My little man who has not preferred "school". The last couple weeks he seems to have blossomed and just seems to "get it". He's saying sounds and reading some of the basic words before his sis who is always asking for school. At any rate, this morning at 7am my little man was begging me to have school in the dark. No, not in the evening when he typically wants to wait until but right then and there! Oh Joy of Joys! Will this last? I can be hopeful can't I?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Our Thankful Tree

The kids and I are spending the week leading up to Thanksgiving talking about things we are thankful for. Today we began the tree and started with the letters 'a', 'm', and 's'. I'm using green backing for Em and tan for Jonathan.
I must ask you what self respecting tree would be without a 4 yr old boy being thankful for Marshmallows?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

An afternoon view from my living room

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Some day Mr. Bell we will see our dream come to fruition. I love you with everything that I am. xoxoxo

Monday, November 9, 2009

Hot off the wheel

This is one of the things I'm working on. This was a super quick attempt (first time) at Navajo plying. Navajo plying has intrigued me because it takes the 1 strand of fiber that you've spun and turns it into a 3 ply. The other huge benefit of Navajo plying is that it uses exactly what is on your bobbin. When plying from multiple bobbins I tend to have remnants on 1 of the bobbins. I am so excited about how well this has turned out. I have another 3 ounces to spin and then ply before turning this into a hat and gloves for the littlest guy in my life.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Fall tea parties

The creativity of my 3 year old never fails to impress me. She decided she wanted her tea hot so this is what she came up with. And of course the baby needs warm fluids too. :-)
Even the dog is invited to the tea party. Ack! He enjoyed it though.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My Ah Ha Moment

I wrote this yesterday and feel strongly about posting it here. Weight is an issue that I'm embarrassed to talk about but at the same time know that it is a huge problem not just with me but with so many other people. I want, hope to be of encouragement to someone else.

So last night I had the complete, "I'm done. I'm fed up with
myself. No matter what I choose to do I'm the one in control and I'm going
to be in control in a good way" moment. I swear I spend the weekends
binging. (eating out) Every week I decide I'm not going to do that
again. I don't think I've ever felt like I felt last night. Not even
when I weighed 260 pounds. I didn't realize at the time that I was that
big. I've just almost always been big. When I had to buy a size 24
pants after my little girl was born and then go stand beside a bride at a
wedding and be bar none the biggest person there, I decided to change and I
did. I got myself down to 179 pounds! 80 awesome pounds
gone!!! then I received a phone call during the night that my Grandmother
was gone. I loaded up a 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years old and headed across the
country in a little neon. Just me and my babies. I stayed in WA for
a month and by the time I got back to TN I had gained 10 pounds! 10 pounds
in 1 month. Driving from TN to WA and then WA to CA and then back to WA
and finally back to TN definitely had its effects. I got back to TN in
August of '07. By February of '08 I was headed back to WA. This time
moving back here. when I moved back I still had the 10 pounds on me that I
had gained the previous summer. To shorten this story, I haven't been
completely content since moving back. I've been going back up on the
scale. I'll loose a few pounds and then gain back double what I
This last weekend was spent on another binge and Monday evening I was
laying on the couch feeling extremely weighed down and overall
uncomfortable. I realized that no, I'm not as heavy as I have been
(although very successfully on my way) but I've tasted the fruits of being
smaller on the scale, having some definition, of being stronger. I've
tasted the continual compliments. My husband doesn't tell me that my bum
is getting smaller anymore. I miss it. I'm tired of feeling to fat
for him to look at.

It's just time. It's time to stop whining and dreaming of what life
will be like when...and start living. No, I'm not thrilled with living in
the city with neighbors out my back door. Yes, I dream of having a small
spread of land again (2 acres would be nice...that's what we had before and
although I'd love more there is so much we can do on just 2). I dream of
my husband having a job that will allow him to be home with us all the time but
I will be thankful that he is employed and that we are comfortable.
Yes, I still long for TN and do hope to one day be back there for keeps but
that's not the path that's been laid out before us for now.
I have 2 little ones that are watching me. I have 2 little ones that I would love
to take out to explore the world but don't too often because of how uncomfortable
my pants are. I want to stop trying to drown my sorrows (as silly as they
are) with food.

I've been moving my body for the last few weeks but the eating hasn't
changed. I'll have a morning of being good or on plan (whatever that may
be) and then I'm done. I'm done with the weekend binging. My
ultimate goal is huge. Almost 70 pounds but you know what? It's not
as big as it once was. At one point it was 120 pounds. An entire
person! Yep, I've messed up. I was to a point of 50 pounds but you
know, I choose to believe that my mess ups are making me stronger. Soon
enough I'll kiss that 50 pound mark good bye. for now, I'll kiss each and
every single pound adios and celebrate me. Celebrate the small steps
along with the big ones. I'll celebrate each number, each minute spent
exercising, each mile, each crunch, lunge or dip. I'll celebrate the sore
muscles and I'll celebrate every meal I have the opportunity to make for
my family.
Yep, life shall be a celebration. My mind shall remain focused.
The goal has been laid out and I'm going for it.

I'll weigh in every Wednesday and then every other Friday. Wednesday for the purpose of recording and every other Friday for a mini goal challenge my husband and I make every pay period. Without further hesitation, I weighed in at 207 this morning. No more though. I'll not go above that number nor see it again on the scale.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Weekend fun...for some

Our weekend was full...starting Friday afternoon. The Mr. has been taking a couple days off from work for a couple weeks (hunting season) and Friday he came home from a cold wet hunt around lunch. We loaded up and headed to a favorite island to pick out pumpkins. Unfortunately we have had a few freezes here so most of the pumpkins were rotten.

By this point in time my dirt digging, worm loving little girly girl (she really is on both ends of the spectrum) was saying, "Mommy, I don't like this place. It's muddy." Yep, it was extremely muddy and when we got back to the truck I learned that her rubber boots were not keeping the cold mud out. Poor girl.

Saturday consisted of taking the kiddos to lunch with a girlfriend and then taking them to a movie.

Sunday was a day at church. The church we attend has Sunday school at 9:30, service at 10:30 and then the evening service is actually in the afternoon at 2. 2x a month we have lunch at the church and the rest of the weeks we can bring our own lunch or go to lunch. Yesterday we enjoyed company at Denny's.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Feeding the heart

I plan on starting a couple new studies/devotionals this week. Actually 3. One is of Hebrews with a Lady's Bible study at the new church we've been attending. The others are:

I, like so many others I suppose, feel so inadequate. I feel like a failure often in most areas of my life. The Ministry of Motherhood is one that I've had on my wish list for a long while. I love my kiddos. I really do. Although they are still so young, I am afraid of failing them. I'm afraid of not truly instilling a love for our Almighty God in them. I don't want them to just follow in Jeff and my footsteps. I want them to have a thirst, a hunger within themselves.

The second study, Living Beyond Yourself is 2nd study for a separate lady's class at church. at being an example. I sometimes beat myself up because the characteristics which are displayed in the example of the Fruits of the Spirit are something that I long for and yet feel I lack. I'm hoping to reconnect and begin to work on these characteristics...these traits.

A major part/benefit of these studies is that they will force me to get away from this computer during "free time". I really don't have free time or feel as though I shouldn't. The computer has always been a struggle of mine.

With that said, it's time to log off.